Pitch? Please!

The newsletter for people who are done networking the hard way

Issue 05 · The Masks We Wear · Week 5 of 52

Thank you so much to those who took me up on the Complimentary Stress and Wellness Assessment! It was such a pleasure to come along side you and help you find your own unique path towards clarity and ease!

A NOTE FROM ME

Here we go!

Is the version of you that shows up at professional events the same version that your closest friends know?

For most of us, the answer is some variation of no. And I don't think that's something to be ashamed of — but it is something worth understanding, and I’m honestly curious what my friends would say…

This week we're talking about the professional persona — where it comes from, what it costs us, and what becomes possible when we start to let it down.

Sincerely and with Gratitude,

Jenny

THIS WEEK'S TOPIC

The masks we wear in professional spaces

At some point — probably early in our careers, or maybe even earlier than that — most of us learned that certain parts of ourselves were not welcome in certain professional rooms.

Too emotional.
Too uncertain.
Too weird.
Too much.
Not enough.
Not the right degree.
Not the right profession.
What? No blazer? No Powersuit?

For me when I first started going to networking events, I was “just” a massage therapist and can I tell you- I was the only one of my kind in that space. Sure there were “woo” based coaches, but that is a different breed altogether!

So we built a professional self. A curated, competent, camera-ready version that we deploy when the stakes feel high. This isn't dishonesty — it's a very human adaptation. The problem is that the professional mask, worn long enough and tightly enough, starts to feel like the only option.

Brene Brown found in her research that the opposite of belonging is fitting in. Fitting in is putting on the mask and believing it makes us belong. The very doubt we still experience when the mask is on should be the first clue that lets us know it isn’t quite working the way we thought it should.

Here's what the mask costs you: the very thing that makes you magnetic. People don't connect with credentials. They connect with realness. And you can't be real and masked at the same time.

I witness myself do this: I show up to networking gatherings and muster up a slightly more polished professionalism with a twist of me mixed up in there. At a gig- even when I’m glammed up- that is probably the realest, most full version of myself you will ever see. I’m alive and vibrant and MAGNETIC. (https://www.rockinghamgroove.com/)

I've watched this happen with my coaching clients — the moment they allow something genuine to surface in a professional conversation, something shifts. The other person leans in. The energy changes. What was a transaction starts to feel like a real connection. Their whole energy moves when their truest self activates.

From a stress management perspective, there's a real physiological cost to performing versus being.

Maintaining a persona — holding yourself just slightly removed from authenticity — creates a kind of internal tension that the heart and nervous system feel. It's subtle, but it's there. And over time it's exhausting in a way that's hard to name, but in my experience it feels a lot like burnout.

The invitation here isn't to overshare or be inappropriately vulnerable. It's to find the places where the real you and the professional you overlap — and let that be enough. Because it is.

THIS WEEK'S PRACTICE

Spot the mask

Go grab your journal because this week, we are going to pay attention to the moments when we feel ourselves shift into performance mode in professional settings. Try to catch it in real time.

• What triggers the shift? A specific type of person, a question, a setting?

• What changes in your body when you put the mask on? Where do you feel it?

• What's one thing about the real you that you've been keeping out of your professional presence — and what would happen if you let a little of it in?

Journal prompt: If the most authentic version of me showed up to a networking event this week, what would be different about how I entered the room, started a conversation, or introduced myself?

MEMBER SPOTLIGHT

Meet Julie Carlton! Our very own Hummingbird Whisperer!!!

**Meet Julie Carlton**

Hi! I’m Julie and I'm a mortgage professional based in Concord, New Hampshire, with nearly a decade of experience helping clients navigate the home financing process with confidence and clarity. My background as both a mortgage underwriter and processor gives me a well-rounded understanding of the lending process, allowing me to guide borrowers with insight, accuracy, and strong attention to detail.

I'm known for my ability to build meaningful connections with my clients, creating a supportive and approachable environment where they feel comfortable asking questions and exploring their homeownership options. I'm especially passionate about helping individuals in challenging situations — whether it's a first-time homebuyer who doesn't believe homeownership is possible, or a client navigating a divorce and determining how to retain their home.

In these moments, I take a hands-on, compassionate approach — walking alongside my clients so they feel informed, supported, and never alone in the process. My goal is to help each borrower understand their options and move forward with confidence, even in complex financial circumstances.

Outside of my mortgage career, I enjoy spending time with my twin sons, Wesley and Wyatt. I love the outdoors, especially gardening, tending to hummingbird feeders in the summer, walking wooded trails, and spending time near rivers. Music, travel, and time with family and friends are also central to my life.

I hold a Bachelor of Science degree from Suffolk University and am actively involved in my community, supporting organizations such as Mary's Dogs Rescue & Adoption in Northwood, NH, and Easterseals New Hampshire's Veterans Count, which provides holistic services for veterans and their families.

Tell us about a moment when you showed up authentically in a professional setting and it surprised you what happened.

I was at a crossroads after raising my twins and post-divorce. I was overwhelmed with daily thoughts of “what next”. I was on Facebook one morning and saw an old friend post about an emotional rollercoaster deal that had just closed with her first time homebuyers. She mentioned the feeling of relief and how tears of joy were shed at the closing table. In that moment, I knew this was my next chapter. I once worked on the operations side of lending and always wanted to try the sales side so I could have that connection with the customer. I messaged her expressing how her post made me feel and she immediately responded asking me to join her team. I jumped in and I am so grateful that I said, YES! I now get to experience the journey from initial application to watching my clients receive the keys and it really is the best feeling. I am so grateful to be a part of such a HUGE milestone in my clients’ lives.

What do you wish more people knew about what you do?

What I do is so much more than taking a mortgage application. I become friends with my clients. Sometimes their journey can take months or even years. I want them to feel they have someone they can trust and lean on during the sometimes, overwhelming, and grueling process. If it gets heavy, I am there to lift them up and to make sure they know I will do whatever it takes to get them to the end. My mom was a nurse for over 37 years and was considered the “Fairy Godmother” of nursing. I want to emulate this same feeling she gave her patients with my clients. Building trust, keeping it light and sometimes comical is how I prefer to carry my clients to the closing table. Yes, I do take the applications but then I walk beside my clients to ensure a smooth and enjoyable process. That is where I shine

How can people in the group connect with or support you?

I am on Facebook and LinkedIn. I would love for this group to think of me when they hear of anyone wanting to buy or refinance and to know I will take great care of them! I pride myself on my communication. There is a common denominator in all of my reviews and feedback which is my communication skills. That is very important to me. If you need me, I will be there! If we hit a roadblock, I will do whatever I can to get us over the hurdle. No deal is too small or too big. I welcome all types of scenarios with open arms. I also love working with new buyers who aren’t quite sure if they are even ready to buy a home. I review their current situation and then we come up with goals on what they need to do in order to get there.

Would you like to be next week’s feature?

BEFORE YOU GO

The gap between who you are and who you perform yourself to be is exactly the territory my natural curiosity lives in. If this week's topic felt close to home, I'd love to explore it with you. Chat with me over on VOXER or reply to this email and tell me what’s landing with you.

See you next week. Take good care of yourself in every room you walk into.

— Jenny

The Masks We Wear