When a big picture vision is just too big to look at: practice with something small… like a Habit.
How are your new year’s resolutions going?
Did you even make any? Or, like me, did you give in to your defiance towards the whole trend and just give up before you even contemplated a goal?
If you did start a resolution, are you petering out yet? Found the perfect delay button to press over and over and it’s now been 2-3 days since you made any followthrough?
In my experience, people (me) struggle with meeting their goals for several reasons:
They are too big or unrealistic. The sheer size of it turns you away from it which then increases your stress and shame response over failing or giving up and that activates your fight or flight mechanism and ALL that comes with that.
You aren’t feeling supported or validated in your goal. Some of us really do better with the support of someone. Loneliness is a real buzzkill.
You literally aren’t FEELING it. If a goal doesn't resonate with most, if not all, of the fibers of your being, part of you is left with doubt and your subconscious ( which is preprogrammed since the dawning of time to seek out the negative) is going to grab hold tight to that doubt and prove it to be true with all of its might.
And you arent feeling it because you haven’t clearly defined or discovered your WHY behind the goal. It’s still this thing that is outside of you instead of the source that drives you from within.
I’m a QUEEN at failing to meet a lot of goals this past year. 2023 put some shiny new diamonds in my tiara for flaking out, and when I asked myself why I kept giving up, it came down to this:
At the root of all, I had SOMEONE ELSE’S satisfaction in mind.
I was taking to heart too many suggestions from others of how to get there and it didnt feel good.
I was taking leaps like a pole vaulter instead of the smaller, more delicate, steps I needed and was more appropriate for where I was at in my journey at the time.
I was going too far against the grain that makes me ME.
Oh that damned people pleaser in me! I fell into my own old comfort zone trap!
Jen Sincero, in her PHENOMENAL book, Badass Habits, says:
“Mastering the powerful, positive mindset that’s required to keep upping your habits game is all about staying aware, shifting your focus when you catch yourself wandering down Woe-Is-Me Lane, and consciously thinking thoughts that are aligned with where you want to go and who you want to become….
When it comes to building great habits and ditching lame ones, your commitment to staying focused on who you’re becoming (regardless of where you are/who you are right now) is the mightiest power you’ve got….
Contrary to popular belief, habits are more about who you’re being than what you are doing.”
All this gold is on pages 3 and 4.
And sometimes you need someone else to hold the mirror and shine the light to help you see that.
But I thought we were talking about
goal setting- not habits, Jenny.
NOT EXACTLY…well. Sort Of.
Goal setting begins with
setting yourself up with habits
that will get you there.
I believe each and every one of you, including myself, are capable of brilliant thing, and the journey- as much as it’s a lot of inner work- is WAY MORE FUN with others to bounce ideas off of, ground with, and learn from.
Here’s the solution to our need and desire to work on our habits that will generate the momentum that will help us reach our goals in community, with accountability, and a fresh look on support:
The Momentum Builders Collective:
A Habit Transformation Tribe
The DETAILS.
-5 group zoom calls- with coaching, community, a brainstorm hub and support from all of us! (recorded for those who need the flexibility to relisten to the session or are unable to come to a scheduled call- life happens!)
-Weekly inspirational email support with mini lessons, worksheets and journal prompts
-A private Facebook Group to keep connected to your community through the week to keep momentum and encouragement flowing
You are going to walk away with a new way to approach your goals by building gentle habits to support them.
You will learn:
*How to set goals that are really true to you and the steps it takes to get there so that you can truly believe in yourself and your ability to reach them and revel in the positive feedback look of success!
*How to establish habits that support your goals so that you will feel like you have a system in place that establishes mini wins along the way that pave the way to your ultimate goal.
*How to connect to yourself and identity if the goals you are setting are truly aligned for your life so that you are filtering your dreams through a lens with YOU in mind, not someone else’s expectations for you.
*How to pivot your goals with grace and acceptance so that your comfort zone and fight or flight mechanisms don’t derail you when something unexpected comes up.
*How to create the scaffolding to set future goals up for success so that you can do it all over again with future goals with the ESTABLISHED BELIEF that you CAN SUCCEED!
Much of this group info will be pulled from the book, BadAss Habits, by Jen Sincero and it is a recommended read while we go. A suggested reading guide will also be provided!
I hope you can join me!
MONDAYS at 3:30-5pm
Biweekly beginning February 5th
(can’t make February 5th?
NO WORRIES! You aren’t missing out! You can sign up anytime and jump in the next call.
