That’s Not Normal
A Soft Place to Land
Nervous system-focused care for overloaded humans
Issue 05 · That’s Not Normal · Week 5 of 52
The link above to the AUDIO will now PLAY COMPLETELY! I apologize for the annoyance of the other links not playing all the way through!
Before we get started, I shared a really cool video from Joe Dispenza on Heart Coherence- That all systems in balance experience we can have when we leverage our nervous system to decrease symptoms of stress.
I figure- if you have heard of him and he generates a level of Awe in your intellectual world- you may appreciate the work that he has done with all the HeartMath tools!
Welcome. I'm so glad you're here!
This week's topic is one I approach with a lot of care — because it touches something that many people feel but rarely hear named out loud from a lowly bodywork practitioner. I'm going to say it plainly, and I want you to read it in the spirit it's intended: with deep respect for how hard you've been working, and genuine belief that you deserve more than what you've been settling for.
-Jenny
THIS WEEK'S TOPIC
You (WE) have normalized things that are not normal
I want to gently and firmly say something that I believe with my whole heart:
many of the things we have accepted as simply "how I am" or "how life is" are not normal.
They are common. There is a significant difference between common and normal.
And I have experienced it too.
Waking up already tired is common. It is not normal — meaning it is not what your body is designed to do, and it is not something you simply have to accept.
Carrying so much tension in your neck and shoulders that they ache by midday is common. It is not a given of adult life.
Feeling anxious without knowing exactly why, most of the time, is common. It is not just "who you are."
We normalize chronic suffering when we've lived with it long enough. The body is extraordinary at adapting — and part of that adaptation is learning to function around pain rather than resolving it. But functioning around something is not the same as being well.
I see this so clearly in my work and in my own life.
People- INCLUDING ME!! come in describing symptoms they've had for years — sometimes decades — with a kind of resigned acceptance.
"I've always had back issues."
"I've never been a good sleeper."
"I'm just an anxious person."
And embedded in each of those statements is a quiet surrender to a story about themselves that may not actually be true.
( I say this in the most validating way possible and I’m reminding myself of this very thing as I try so hard to find a comfortable way to stand at my counter typing this out that doesn’t give me a tweaky spot in my sacrum- trust me I GET IT!)
I'm not suggesting that every physical symptom has a purely psychological cause, or that transformation is easy or guaranteed. I am suggesting that many people are living far below their capacity for wellbeing because they stopped believing that more was possible.
We have adapted our baseline to what is a tolerable amount of suffering and we have reached our max capacity for suffering when Sh*t starts to fly sideways… when the pain starts roaring- it’s because all the physical issues contributing to the pain the first place are more exacerbated than before and are breaking through the threshold of pain your brain was previously tolerating with the message: “Listen to me! I’m hurting and something needs to give!”
What would it mean to reconsider? To approach even one long-standing symptom with fresh curiosity instead of resigned acceptance? To ask — not with frustration, but with genuine openness — What is the story I’m believing about my pain and what might still be possible here?
That question, asked sincerely, is one of the most powerful things I see people do. That I’ve seen myself do! It opens a door that chronic normalization had quietly closed.
THIS WEEK'S REFLECTION
What have you normalized?
This week's practice is a gentle audit — not to add to your burden, but to help you see clearly what you've been carrying.
1. Make a list of the physical symptoms, energy patterns, or emotional states you've come to think of as "just how I am." Write them down without judgment.
2. For each one, ask: how long have I accepted this? Do I actually know that it can't change — or have I just stopped asking?
3. Is there one item on that list that, if it changed, would most improve your quality of life? What would life feel like without it?
You deserve to ask this question. Your body deserves you to ask it.
CLIENT STORY
My Own Personal Story with Pain.
I sprained my ankle 3 years ago.
I had been on the couch, my foot fell asleep, and I didn’t realize how deeply asleep it was until I got up, tried to walk, fell over and felt the snap.
The pain took my breath away.
My first thought: “I don’t have time for this.”
I did some emergency Bowen on it- the knee and ankle protocol, I felt the pain subside, the swelling wasn’t too bad. I could still fit my foot in my shoe. I had a big networking meeting to go to that evening so when I felt I could put weight on my foot… I did. And went on my way.
3 years later I am dealing with chronic hip pain from the compensation pattern I developed in my gait after spraining my ankle and not doing more for it because “after the initial pain, it didn’t hurt that bad and I could walk.”
Well… Now I hobble.
I look like I walk fine, but the pain is often excruciating and what bodyworker wants to tell their clients that they deal with debilitating pain day in and day out that has kept me from doing a lot of things I enjoy doing- like walking without pain. LOL It’s the simple joys.
The pain isn’t really the full problem though. It’s my THOUGHTS and my BELIEFS about the pain that’s the problem. It’s the FEELINGS that my thoughts and beliefs about the pain generate and keep a stress cycle going which exacerbates the pain even further!
The situation is:
I am in pain, and I haven’t been able to find a practitioner or exercise routine to help reduce my pain.
My thoughts about that:
I’m going to be crippled for the last half of my life.
My body is broken.
I can’t keep up.
The physical activities I love to do are out of my reach.
I won’t be able to do the 100 mile walk across England I want to do when my last kid graduates.
What kind of practioner am I if I can’t even help myself?
Who would come to me and trust me with their own pain journey if I can’t even heal myself?
My feelings about it all:
I’m angry- I should have gone to the dr instead of the meeting.
I’m sad- because I feel like a failure and some dreams may be going up in smoke.
I’m scared- I don’t want to be crippled for the rest of my life and my work is on the line.
I’m anxious- What do people think of me and my capability to serve others?
I’m resentful- I’m suffering too and no one seems to care- the system is fucked anyway.
I’m unworthy.
What are my actions:
Ultimately- I hide.
I stopped showing up.
I stopped caring.
I gave in to my resentment.
What are my results:
I’m still in pain.
I cancel PT appointments because they aren’t working,
I consider giving up on my dreams.
Wellll…. I bet you didn’t think you were getting all THAT today.
As doomsday as this all seems- there is a whole lot of hope and healing involved.
All of this can be reverse engineered to suss out- How Do I Get Out of This Proverbial Shitstorm I Find Myself In?
It often starts with the question I often ask you at the table:
How do you want to feel? And we go from there.
If you are interested in hearing how I approached all this- reply to this email and I will send you my reverse engineering that has helped me get my head, and my heart, back into the game.
If you'd like to share your story for an upcoming newsletter, I'd love to hear from you. Reach out at hello@jennyodell,me
A FINAL THOUGHT FROM ME
If something on your list surprised you — or moved you — I hope you'll sit with it a little longer. And if you're ready to start questioning what's been normalized, I'd be honored to be part of that conversation. A free clarity call is always the right place to start.
If this week's topic is resonating with something you've been feeling but haven't had words for, I'd love to have a conversation. My Building Your Personal Resilience coaching program exists for exactly this — to take the awareness you're building through bodywork and turn it into lasting change. Learn more or book a free clarity call at jennyodell.me or if you would rather, connect with me via voice note onVOXER or simply reply to this email to share what’s been landing.
Sincerely and with Gratitude,
Jenny O'Dell
